Sunday, December 18, 2011

Another sleepless night

After been so very upset yesterday I knew I would be in for another sleepless night (I did try going to bed but only had about two hours of sleep).
My body is now aching all over, I am in such a lot of pain especially in my back.
The pain is not as severe now but I am having problems breathing. I went to make a sandwich and now I can't eat it as I am having difficulty breathing (which causes me to cough, this is because I am not getting enough oxygen in my lungs).
Bending down is a challenge as this seems to affect my breathing and the coughing will start.
Massive headache again today worse when I cough.
Fell asleep whilst watching television (I was so exhausted from lack of sleep), jumped up suddenly as I had started to vomit in my sleep.
I had a friend came to visit me it was such a lovely surprise as I was not expecting her. When she was ready to leave I went to the door to see her out (it felt very cold as I opened the front door) now I am breathless and coughing (my head hurts each time I cough).
This coughing is usually quite distressing for me and others around me. I have pulmonary fibrosis (which means the base of my lungs are damaged by thickening and scarring, which is then causing less oxygen to go into my blood). I will be asking my consultant if I can have lung transplant. So far there is no improvement since having the chemo and I don't want to have to go in a wheelchair or even start to carry oxygen around but if either or both will help to improve the quality of my life then I will have to succumb.
I am in bed now still in pain but it could be due to some stress in my life (i am finding it difficult to breathe properly right now, even though I am sitting in bed).
I have to praise God each day for His Grace and Mercy and His love for me, for without Him I would be nothing (even with all my faults and oh! There are many) but with God I am someone special.


  1. Thinking of you, hope it starts to get easier getting to sleep,
    Lemara x